There comes a time in life when we (or at least I had felt this, and yes other people did too, maybe or maybe not 🙁 ) feels nothing but hopelessness. The dread of losing your loved ones in a sense that they won’t be always like this as they’re today with you, afterwards; they won’t love you the same as they do today. It truly causes you to feel bleak and too much depressed.
Fear of Losing your loved ones anguishes a lot when you both love each other as compared to when only one person loves the other person more. Also, not that generic, typical love, in which you try to harm the people you love. I am not judging anyone’s love for anyone though. Jealousy is there in love, but what matters is how do they deal with their jealousy. When both of you or one of you sets off trepidation, do know this: The right ones will stay—I know this won’t help you stop dreading at the very moment but know that. I have this very best friend of mine by the grace of God, the first time in my nineteen years. In a nutshell, I became so depressed that what if I lose this best friend. Because I had lost everyone, in fact, I never had a real friend(However, I have been blessed with very good people), such friend, Allah has blessed me with this friend now, and I am very grateful to Allah. And I am thankful to my best friend too.
One month back (around), I was very depressed over what if I lost my best friend. Then at night, I prayed to Allah to keep our friendship ever like this, like it is today. And keep our love the same. Maybe this I didn’t pray, this second one—Keeping our love the same, but I will do it, today, on Ninth May 2020. Perhaps I had prayed about this as well, I don’t remember. When I prayed the first one that is, I prayed to Allah to keep our friendship ever like this, my heart was then really content and light. And I knew that now I don’t have to keep such insecurities because a lot of times my best friend had asked me to do not fear, my best friend will never leave. In Sha Allah. Not exactly my best friend’s words, though but my best friend said this. Masha’Allah. Baara Kallahu Feek.
Now I am thankful to Allah that this fear is finished from inside me. When this negative thought comes into my mind now, that what if my best friend left me or if I left, I ask forgiveness from Allah to have this thought because when you have prayed to Allah about something, you cannot be still insecure, that’s a sort of sin because it’s like you are not trusting in Allah. And I pray Ta’awuz to Allah, keeping in my mind it’s meaning, to not let devil whisper such thoughts into my mind or if my own thoughts does so. There was a guy on askfm, a social Media Platform, his name was Ahmed too. His profile was named ‘Ahmed Mac.’ He once said: ‘Recite Taawuz often.’ And it really works. God bless that Ahmed.
I would add in both worlds the next time I’ll pray. And I want to tell that when you pray, do not just say the mere words, mean what you say.
I sent this to my best friend, after overcoming the fear:
Disclaimer: I am not showing off, boasting, or gloating. Allah knows. Even if I am doing so and I, later on, will feel that it is not right to post this like this, I would remove this part but right now I think it is important that I let people know how can they cope with this fear, so I am posting this. It contains transliteration as well so if anyone reads who doesn’t understand Urdu/Hindi might not get a few lines. Also, a few writing mistakes.
‘I was so much depressed and hopeless. 20th and 21st April 2020. Hopelessness ended on 20th April. But I was intensely depressed. So much dismal and gloomy. When I just saw my best friend online a few minutes back literally I was smiling by all my heart. And this depression an I was having and myself getting was very severe. Five minutes ago it happened; my best friend got online. I became happy at that moment and I am still very happy. Those lyrics came in my mind, I once sent them as a staif( send to all I follow—a term used on askfm when sending a question to everyone you follow) on askfm too. But I remembered them now, minutes ago associating them to my best friend. Wohh Anay Se Jis Kay Aa jaati hain saansein wou konnn hai? Tu hi hai. My best friend. And this ain’t a temporary feeling and will not diminish, my best friend, In sha Allah. I will pray about it too. And it’s not like that I need someone to make me feel better when I am low. My best means the world to me, unconditionally. Ya Allah, bless my best friend in both worlds with the best. Amen. Bara Kallah hoo Feek. Masha’Allah.
And I just love Allah that how He made me happy. He is the best. Someone who turned this severe mental torture I was having into such happiness. Allah is my best friend too. Allah is my best friend. Malaika is my best friend. And Hira is also my friend plus mu boli behen(but I call her as my saggi bari behen to myself).’
However, this does not mean to stop self-analyzing. Your poisonous nature could make anyone leave and that is a must that they leave. Focus on improving your personality but while being real. Do not lose yourself when improving your mindset and working on personal development but it also doesn’t mean to do nothing at all. That is off-base.
Sometimes we feel quite stressed yet happy to think how can we tell the other person how much we love them. I got tears in my eyes writing this 2:21 Pm 5/8/2020. But do not worry, on the day of resurrection, Allah will tell how much we loved one another. But these things are only good if you are close to Allah, otherwise, these things are only two days impermanent bliss of this world.
P.S. Please do not consider these things as superficial or unreal, they are not.