Realized That I Made A Mistake



In January 2020 I had an intense cerebral pain that lasted four to five days, and it was such a pain that despite all my positive, realistic, optimistic nature, I was praying to Allah to make me dead or end this pain. I saw a dream of a person stabbing me and I have started to die. I was in such a feeling of relief. Like when Kimya dies in Forty Rules Of Love, I was like that. White flashes were coming after my eyes and my body became so light that I felt like I am floating in the air. It felt like a sweet death. However, soon I realized that it’s just a dream I am not dead, while I was still in that dream. I was worried about if I will go to Jannah or not. I woke up. After a few days when that pain was diminished, I realized a thing—that all the time being in solitude and alone is not good. Why this thought came into my mind? Because of the way my mother took care of me, even in intense pain, it felt like the colorful days of my life, like we used to have in our childhood has been restored. I added this paragraph to my post ‘How To Relieve Depression.’ Here is the screenshot of that paragraph. You can go to that post to see it too 🙂

After two-three days or even on the day I added this, there was a tiny particle of guilt in my heart— guilt of hiding something or not making it clear information for people or a Lil bit misguidance and above all, talking one-sided doctrine; making the value of solitude so much less apparently and subconsciously. I was saying to myself, ‘Solitude has made you what you are today, and because of one incident in life you tweeted such a tweet and without properly adding these lines that solitude is one of the greatest treasures and a blessing and what I am today has a vast role of solitude involved.’ By the grace of Allah. So, I have retweeted it with this post’s link.

I was aware of this back then. Then from time to time, I felt like adding these lines in that post or making a new article about it but I never did this.

The paragraph I added in that post was right but, alongside all the clarification. Thus, here it is.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *